A Sort of Homecoming

It seems funny to me now that I spent so much energy preparing for vacation, packing, planning and investing myself in getting away from here. Then, when faced with the opportunity of an extended vacation, I expended at least four times that amount of energy and quite a bit of money to get back. We are home now and most of our experiences were very nice. However, there have been long baths, reading, and movie watching in the days immediately following our "vacation." It's been sort of like a recovery.

We went to Waves, NC and camped by the beach in the Outer Banks. Great beach, great waves. They were actually surfable. Although we didn't surf, we did boogy board which was a lot of fun. I had to keep my eye on the kids though because they were feeling more confident around the water and it was a little rough for them in my opinion. So, I had to be alert while having fun of my own. We had about three good days on the beach before the "tropical depression" Ernesto began to move in. So we packed our wet gear and headed out to find a hotel just in case things got too crazy and unsafe for tent camping. We found an ocean front hotel and splurged. We were all feeling a little gritty and there was an indoor pool to enjoy in case it rained too bad to enjoy the beach. It also had the sound of ocean waves crashing just outside our patio whether it rained or not! So needless to say this felt well worth the $140 after the camping got a little damp. We did get a little more time on the beach before rain hit again. Then we headed in to the indoor pool and had a blast. Oldest is a full blown swimmer now doing flips and swimming on his back and everything! We had the whole pool to ourselves. We played. I played. It has been a while since I was actually relaxed enough to play with my kids. At this point we are loving life right?

As the storms were becoming a more permanent fixture in the area, we resigned ourselves to the idea of heading home early. But, to make the best of it, we decided to break up our drive over three days in between stays at hotels with indoor pools all the way home. This plan would have worked out swimmingly (pun intended.) However, our Jeep broke down in the mountains of Fancy Gap, VA. Let me take a moment to count my blessings before I continue.

1. Beautiful Mountains. Breath taking.
2. We broke down literally at a gas station instead of on the highway. We had just stopped for a late lunch.
3. We were all warm, dry and safe.

However, I was immediately stressed and began breathing slowly and deeply to try to stay calm and accept what was about to unfold. I realized that there was nothing within my control here. As much as I wanted to resist that fact, the reality was that the steering paddle for my canoe on Shit Creek had just been ripped from my hands and I was now along for the ride. We were in the middle of nowhere.

Paul went to the greasy spoon where we had eaten lunch and searched through the phone book for a tow truck or garage. He called Allen's garage and the guy showed up in about ten minutes. I sized him up and decided that he looked nice enough and his eyes were a little twinkly which I thought was a pretty good sign. He offered to tow our Jeep and all of us back to his garage. I felt a surge of panic. Scenes from that horrific movie Wolf Ceek kept forcing themselves through my thoughts as if to say "Are you CRAZY?" We had no choice but to trust this man or hang out at the Chevron station indefinitely. So we all piled into Victor's tow truck. It was a bit crowded. Me being on the slim side, I was asked to sit in the middle with youngest on my lap. Victor said he wouldn't "...play with my leg any." To which my husband replied making direct eye contact with Victor but in a friendly tone of voice, "I appreciate that." What the hell? I locked up at this point and that is how we made the ten minute drive to Allen's Garage.

Upon our arrival, there was no new information coming in to dispute the flashbacks from previously viewed horror movies. My heart was pounding and I breathed as I reminded my body that I had to turn myself over to this experience as it unfolded, moment to moment. There was nothing it could do for me now but I would appreciate it if it could operate in stand by mode to conserve resources.

The garage was located at the bottom of a hill atop of which stood a Citgo station on route 148 directly off of interstate 77. Behind the garage was a cemetary of sorts with the skeletal remains of cars whispering "Get Out." The hair stood up on all parts of my body as if to try to take in more information that my eyes and ears might be missing. The cars had all been stripped of various parts and sat directly next to the most vibrant, green, rolling cow pasture the likes of which you might find in travel books from Ireland. Ah, there it was. Something beautiful. I took the boys for a short walk to check out the cows and then we all hit the bathroom at the Citgo station.

When I returned to Allen's garage, Victor and my husband informed me that the part that we needed was going to cost us $350. Ouch. That does not include labor nor did it prepare me for the downward spiral of information that came next. The part was not in stock in Fancy Gap or any of the neighboring towns. However, they could get it from the Outer Banks. BUT, it would not be in until Tuesday (and it was Friday) which would hopefully put us on the road on Wednesday. "Looks like we'll need to get a room then," I said trying to find that mythical silver lining. Silver lining eluding us, Victor informed us that it being the holiday weekend, we weren't likely to find a room. You see in Fancy Gap, each year hundreds of thousands of people gather far and wide for the annual labor day Antique Flea Market in a town that daily houses maybe two thousand. Of all the luck.

So we immediately went to the next logical plan which was to rent a car and drive home. To no avail. No rental cars were available save one which was in Hillsville, the next town over. It was a Ford Taurus located at a Ford Dealership and therefore did not have a one way option. So if we rented it, we would have to rent it for the trip home, for Friday through Wednesday at $40.00/day, for the trip back to Fancy Gap and $.25/mi for every mile over the alotted daily miles. That was a lot of math and the dealership was closing in 15 minutes. We were exasperated and totally unable to process this information and told them we would have to call them back. In the meantime, I asked about the Lakeview Motel that was located directly next to the Lakeview Restaraunt that we had eaten at earlier in the day. Victor raised his eyebrow and said, "They might have a room." I should have taken this to be a clue. Why would "they" have a room when everywhere else was booked up? He called for us and said they had one more room left and it only had one bed. By this time the Ford Dealership was closed and we felt the best thing to do was get settled in, have some dinner and weigh our options. Victor offered to drive us over. On the way over, I wondered why it was called "Lakeview?" I hadn't seen a lake earlier, but then decided there might be some beautiful lake nearby that the name was referencing.


Victor dropped us off and I had to go into the diner to check into the motel and get our key. The chipper, young, blonde woman took the #16 key from the hook on which it rested and placed it on the counter as I sigend the bill. $70 they charged us for this room. SEVENTY! I nearly cried at this point but was looking forward to laying down, catching my breath, calling my Mom to pick our dogs up from the kennel, eating some dinner, etc., etc.

As we walked to our room, I smelled this horrible smell of raw sewage. Looking around, I couldn't immediately tell where it was coming from. But as we hobbled across the parking lot, every free appendage stretched taught by a heavy bag, I caught sight of the "lake." It was a perfectly oval, man made pond that was the color of hunters' camoflage all blended together. It was surrounded by a rusted fence, to deter swimmers no doubt. As if the smell weren't deterrant enough. We had to laugh and shook our heads, smiling as thoughts along the lines of "crazy mountain people" bopped around in our brains but never leaving our lips.


Putting the key in the door, aware that a bed was near and I would be able to collect my strength in private and then get some dinner (the diner had kick ass pinto beans and corn bread BTW), I was able to feel a sense of relief wash over me. This relief was betrayed by the gasp we all let out as the door opened. It was a dark, damp room about 10ftx10ft. It consisted of two windows. One was opened to air the place out no doubt. The other had a window air conditioner in it that had knobs and parts strewn across the window sill as it obviously was not in any condition to condition anything. The floor was covered with stained, matted, lint covered brown carpet that had loft all its plush in 1973. There was a pullout sofa that was a billowing treasure chest of dust mites and mildewy growing things. I sat on it for three minutes and began to feel my chest tighten and my airway got wheezy. Paul and I looked at each other with sagging, defeated looks. We all pulled back the comforter and sat on the bed. I kept my shoes on and begged the kids to do the same. Did they listen? What do you think?



I turned on the television in hopes of finding something to occupy the kids so my brain could go through the back logged information filtering in from my senses and I could think straight again. There was no cable. I looked around and realized there was no phone. We made a couple of calls using the cell phone the first of which was to my Mom. She said she would help however she could and if that meant she and my aunt and uncle coming in on a rescue mission to get us out then she would "by God." She also told me how to check for bed bugs and asked me to call her first thing in the morning. I love my Mom! I checked the matress for bed bugs and found no sign of any. On this high note we decided we should get some dinner.

We headed over to the Lakeview Restaraunt. The place had really come alive with activity since lunchtime. Waitresses with heavy makeup and hairspray pushing through crowds of people to get steaming dishes of delectibles to the starving out of towners waiting at full table after full table. We put our name in as one waitress squeezed past. Our eyes met. She smiled a wide, open smile and said, "Howdy." Only she said it so fast that the ow sounded more like a long i as in "hidey." I took little comfort in her warm welcome and just smiled back. I looked around suspiciously at all the people around me. We were so close to each other. There was an excitement in the air. People were just thrilled to be in Fancy Gap, VA on the eve of the biggest event that comes this way only once a year. I just couldn't understand it. I still don't really. But people were so nice and so happy and just...well full of life.

I heard one woman say to no one in particular as she walked slowly behind a woman who was walking on crutches, "She wouldn't have missed this fer nuthin'. She just had surg'ry a week ago and was bound to get h'yer. She came last yer too after she had just had a hip replaced. She's addicted I tell ya."

We were led to our table and sat there quietly taking in the scene abounding us. We were like four rain clouds in their sunny skies. We stood out just a little. I don't think those people could figure out why we weren't just as pleased to be there as they were and we couldn't figure out how they could have done this to themselves intentionally.

We all ate grilled cheese for dinner and headed back to our room after a stop at the Chevron station to get some comfort food. Chips. When we got back to the room, we realized nothing on television at this hour would be appropriate for the kids so we let them watch a movie on the laptop using headphones so that we could watch whatever. We flipped channels and ate chips in silence, shaking our heads to ourselves now and again as we went back over our day. My husband and I began to dose off from exhaustion and realized we might want to get the pull out couch ready. Mary, an older lady with a limp who told me she has been working here for 31 years, gave me an extra set of sheets for it. We pulled out the sofa, and then we closed it again without much debate and invited the kids to pile in the full bed with us. The pull out sofa was stained and gray beyond belief and it just was not happenin'. So we all slept in the full bed snug and cozy until morning.

Morning brought relief from gray skies with sunshine peeking through the blinds at us. I immediately felt things were looking up. I went out to take some pictures and we all got ready for breakfast. We headed over to the Lakeview for what would be our last meal in Fancy Gap that day. At breakfast, we decided that renting the car and driving home and then back again would be cheaper and more comfortable than a hotel stay for the duration. Although, once again trying to squeeze good out of the situation I said, "If we could find a more comfortable hotel, being stranded in the middle of nowhere may be just the thing for us to write, read and do artwork. Don't you recognize oportunity when it's knocking?" To which my husband mumbled something about punching opportunity in the fucking face and that we were going to get the hell out of here. Enough said.

We got back to the room and called the Ford Dealer in Hillsville. The sun was still shining over the "lake" and it must have been shining in Hillsville too because the Ford Taurus was still available. A driver was able to drive the car to us as long as we could drive him back. We agreed to this. Packed our shit. Put it all on the covered porch of room 16. And proceeded to wait eagerly for a Ford Taurus to come into view. Soon it did and we piled into the car with the nicest gentleman we had met so far. He was a youngin' all of about 21 or 22 years of age. He told us about the area and about the tradition of the flea market. He said he used to love it when he was a kid because they got Friday through Tuesday out of school for Labor Day because they couldn't get the buses through the traffic. He also said that the town that Andy Griffith was from, Mt. Airy (Mayberry), was just down the mountain from Fancy Gap.

When we got to the dealership and began the paperwork for the rental car, we discovered that my husband's liscense was expired. Doh. It had all been going so smoothly at this point, I was beginning to feel suspicious. This was just the comfort I needed. He just had not realized he needed to renew this year. So, I would be the driver of the rental. And we were off. Just like that leaving our Jeep, cooler with food in it and our wet camping gear. We arrived home about six hours later. Oldest said he was so glad to be home he was trying not to cry. We have to go back on Wednesday to get our car. I'll keep you all informed on how it all turns out as this saga draws to a close.

Now that I am two loooong baths and a few home cooked meals away from the situation, I have realized something quite profound that I will never forget. Isn't it interesting that I, a person with serious trust and control issues, was put in a place, time and situation where I would have to not only relinquish control but even be vulnerable to people who were so very foreign to me. They talked funny. They acted funny. Yet, they were kind. They were warm. Although I wanted to seperate myself from them, I had to depend on them to help me through this situation. Aside from the obvious stuff just screaming out at me about control and judgement and the like, I realized that what is different about any of us is only as deep as how we see and identify ourselves. Inside we really are the same everywhere. We all want to see ourselves as successful, as strong, as good in whatever way is most important to support our illusions that define us whether it be good in the way of smart, kind, have lots of money - whatever. Letting go of our need to identify ourselves as anything at all is our key to connection in this world.

This is the gem that I took with me as I mined for the silver lining of our whole predicament. This, and a still shot of the family my husband I have created. Four people who really enjoy being together. Four people who genuinely like each other.

Isn't life funny sometimes? But $70 for that room? That's is a bit like slapstick isn't it?