What to do? What to do?

What to do? What to do? Here I sit all bleary eyed and sleep deprived trying to wake up after not having been able to sleep well at all last night. Such has been the pattern the last couple of nights. Well, except for Saturday night when my husband and I had a date and he read to me. Heaven...ahhhh. We are reading Neverwhere by Niel Gaiman. When he reads to me, I lay close to him so that I can feel the vibrations of his voice so soothing and lulling. There is nothing more relaxing than this before sleep, except maybe his touch. So I slept well Saturday night, but it was that hard kind of sleep because Saturday had been exceptionally busy with the SAVE THE EARTH COMMUNITY SWAP MEET! It was fun, but a lot of work and exhausting. Lots 'o stuff was saved from the land fill - so yay us!

So begins my week of getting recentered. How do I appraoch it? It is supposed to rain quite a bit this week. So, I am definitely taking the kids to do something outside today! It is either going to be Alum Creek Beach or Old Man's Caves! We will pack lunches and backpacks with sketchbooks and watercolors and find a spot to sit and play. Yes, I think we will...

I'll save the library and a few indoor things for the rainy week ahead. The zoo with sketchbooks and paints would be awesome because of the indoor coral reef exhibit. The kids would have fun trying to draw some of their favorite fish.

I am hoping to provide enough balance between entertainment and interaction with them that I could work through some of the landslide that is going on in my head. I just have so much coming through all at once that my thoughts are getting a little deafening. I have got to get some images down and some writing out to help me gain my perspective.

I meditated for two hours last night when I couldn't sleep. It was heavenly. Usually, if I can't sleep, I stubbornly persist until I finally fall asleep. It is a hellish way to spend time in my opinion. Not being able to sleep is like a mini nervous breakdown for me. I want nothing more than to sleep. Purely exhausted, I lay there thinking about how ill prepared I'll be for the next day and being a parent to two active boys. Of course sleep continues to further illude me. It is as if I have joined forces with the gerbil on the squeeking wheel in the next room, grasping for what I cannot reach until completely spent. Finally, sleep catches me when I am most unaware. Bliss. But I am not relieved. I am asleep and therefore unaware.

Last night, I got up and decided to take it to the meditation cushion. I sat for quite awhile and just watched thoughts race through my head this way and that. It is amazing the difference it makes when you merely watch thoughts instead of getting on board with them. About 2am I was ready for bed. Ahhh.

So here I am, tired but relaxed. Tired but awake to a day full of possibilities and challenges...awake to observe and just do.

Off to take a vote with the kids about where to go today.