Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me! For my birthday last Sunday I got sunflowers, 55 cents and a Santa Claus ring! Woohoo! I'd say I made out like a bandit - especially in the love category. Elijah got 90 cents that day because Paul found $1.80 while he was doing laundry and split it evenly between the two boys and told them to go put it in their penny banks. Elijah brought me 55 cents of his 90 cents and said, "Here Mom, since it is your birthday and you never get birthday money I'll give you this." Too cute. I really do get birthday money. But, I didn't say that, I just took the 55 cents and hugged him. As if that weren't enough of the warm and fuzzy, the flower delivery guy knocked on the door and handed me a bouquet of my favorite - SUNFLOWERS! Just the bright spot we need around here in these gray months. Kisses for Paul because his timing was perfect. I don't want flowers too frequently and it had been awhile since I received flowers as a gift. So there was a little bit of the thought, "I hope I get flowers" but not so long that when I received them it was too late...If ya know what I mean. Then later, Isaac decided he didn't want to wear his Santa ring anymore and said I could have it since it was my birthday! So many cherished moments, thoughts and gifts...I am grateful. I love my guys!

I have been a little absent in the creative art and writing department because I have been working on trying to meditate and exercise daily again. I have been getting so lax in my Zen practice and sesshin is coming up. Plus, my spirit has been feeling a little thin. So, it is time to take the wooden sword and come alive again! I get so busy in winter to avoid getting depressed from the weather or rather noticing that I am depressed from the weather. I really should try to take a winter vacation somewhere sunny. I wish I were more disciplined and could force myself to meditate even when I really don't feel like it. Suzuki says, "Go through the motions and your mind will follow." I believe that is true. But my heart tends to get more say than any other part of me and if my heart isn't in it...well, I just don't fake things well.

As far as art goes, I am getting back in my studio tomorrow. I have two images going through my head today that I need to sketch before I lose them. I love it when I get visuals in meditation. Translating them is the hard part though. I also want to finish my first painting for the show. My timeline is to get one painting done every two months. I think that is reasonable and so far I am on schedule.

I have been looking at a couple of different magazines to submit to and have been going over submission guidelines and stuff. I looked at Brainchild, Life Learning Magazine and Home Education Magazine. Oh, and I also looked at Shambala Sun. Life Learning Magazine does not pay. They prefer to barter. That's an okay idea, but I really, really would like to be paid for my work. I have done free so much that I think I began to look at what I do as not worth anything. Besides, I don't really have anything to barter. I just can't do that anymore. But if the piece that I want to submit doesn't get in anywhere else, maybe I'll just suck it up and do a freebie again. I started to edit a piece but need to go back over it at least one more time before it will be ready. I am crossing my fingers. The really exciting part for me is just the doing of it. I have long been in a place where I was just too...I don't know...too far away from myself and my sense of personal power to even take the time to do what I love, let alone take the steps to put myself out there. I feel like I am ready to set myself free...you know like the caged bird?

I also have two poems that need revisiting. So, I have lots 'o choices when I get into my studio tomorrow.

One HUGE distraction for me, other than my loving family who can't live without me, is CITY OF VILLAINS!!!!!! I LOVE IT! It is so much fun and Paul and I play together. My character is named RedHeadStepChild.

She is a Magic Master Mind with the power to control dark forces and raise the dead. She has two pet zombies and a Dark Knight which is a zombie warrior at her beck and call. It is soooooooo freakin' cool! But what a huge waste of time - honestly! This is a huge internal conflict for me and right now, I deal with it by...well, giving in and playing the game. I don't know...maybe I could think of it as supporting the arts. Certainly lots of artists worked on this game to make it so kick ass and I wouldn't want them to feel their time away from their families was in vain. Yeah-that's it! So, I am going to try to limit myself to playing two times a week...NOT! It just seems like that is what I should say at this point. But the real truth is that I just want to brag about how fast I'm leveling and how the missions keep getting more and more difficult but Paul's character Tupid and I are just such a rockin' team that we are still floating right along with very little debt. So there you have it. My name is Too Tight Ponytail Girl and I'm an addict.

Forrest...well...I am happy to say that Forrest is getting the potty thing. He is till having some accidents upstairs. He doesn't get the whole upstairs downstairs thing yet. I swear I think he forgets where he is if he isn't with someone. He'll go upstairs and no one will be up there and he'll suddenly just cry and squeel as if he's being tortured. We have to yell for him and then he'll follow our voices to emancipate himself from the realm of the unknown. But, he is running to his litter box and going 85% of the time when he is downstairs. Whew. I can deal with that as long as he is trying. It has taken him two months to get this far. Criminy, that's slow compared to Ginny. She got it in like two weeks. So we are back to calling him Forrest again and Precious and BooBoo and really loving names. Tupid and Lord Farquad are no longer.

...and they live happily ever after? Apparently NOT!!!!!

Tupid Strikes Again!